appreciation to life!

so today my daughter was baptised, my aunt Mo's birthday and i got married. but that's not what I'm writing about today.

today my mother in law lost all her hair. she has breast cancer. so there was a very huge chance she would lose her hair, but i really hoped she didn't. yes i know that when many cancer patients lose there hair, they believe it will come back, but then again many of the cancer patients don't get to see it come back. not that I'm saying Kim will never get to see her hair come back, but i was told a women's hair and her ears were and are your pride and glory. 

for years i told Kim that i hated my hair. only because its so curly and its gets so hard to manage, so i just hate it. Kim would tell me that she would do anything to have hair like mine, we would laugh about how she could get a perm and that it would go flat in like 3 min. i would laugh and tell her lets switch. 

but know i cant say that anymore. 

so after walking back on a family walk with Savannah and Ryne, we came home to Kim combing her hair and a bucket full of hair in it. it hit like a bullet, Ryne freaked out a bit. but he wont tell me how he feels, her dad doesn't like it only because well its a sign that's its getting worst before it gets better. and mo well she is comfortable with it, Savannah freaked out at seeing her grandma with no hair, but me... well i told Kim i wanted to cry for her. my dad told me one day when my grandfather died that i was my grandmothers rock, but today after helping Kim cut and shave the rest of her hair off, i didn't feel like a rock, all the conversations we had about hair, and how we would gladly switch with each other, is going to be gone. Kim doesn't know this but she is my 3rd mommy, i have my mom, and then i have my Tia Cindy, and i have Kim. seeing this and actively helping her do this, crushed me inside. 

i guess i was hoping the cancer that she had wasn't serious enough to lose her hair. she is taking it very well. and she isn't angry, but i am, i wonder why it happened, and i wonder why her, why any person who gets cancer... i know she is happy and when she sees this shes going to smack me, but that's okay...lol its my blog.